{Today's thoughts}

I am supposed to be writing a paper. 

I've been sitting in marie's cozy little family room for a few hours now staring blankly through her sliding glass doors that look over her small city garden. I'm in my jammies and my hair is a mess of curls (compliments of today's humidity). If Michelle were here, she would tell me how my hair looks like wild lion fur. 

  It has been raining since I sat down. The type of rain that is so heavy and loud that you sincerely question if someone is pouring buckets of water in front of your windows (as opposed to it being actual rain).  There is something so peaceful about sitting still and letting one's thoughts completely and utterly take over. The process of thoughts is so insanely intriguing.
As I sit watching the steadly flow of rain falling from the sky, the first thing that comes to my mind is flies. 

In the fall, at my apartment in Allendale, there was a lovely fall day. We (my room mates and I) opened all the windows to let the warm air flow through the apartment. I remember leaving for classes and coming back in the evening. The warm breezes must have been prelude to the heavy rain that would come later. Upon my arrival back at home, I came to find an infestation of flies in our apartment. To my utter disgust, they were everywhere. We spent the next few days fly hunting in our apartment. Conversations would be stopped abruptly when a fly would buzz past our heads. We put so much effort into killing those dang flies.
It makes me giggle just thinking about it all. Of all the silly things that we did during the semester...of all the fond memories I have of living with Katie, Michelle and Gab....and the one thing that popped up into my head was fly hunting.
I have been in London for twelve weeks. There are these moments, like right now, when I can't help but mourn the fact that must be missing out on so many things back at that little apartment. I hate that things with Katie, Michelle and Gab will never be the same.
Friendship is such a strange thing...or for me it has always been. I feel as though I have quite an easy time getting along with all types of people. But friendship, real and true friendship, is something that is hard for me. Every so often, certain individuals come into my life, that I never would have expected. 

I remember meeting Katie and Michelle for the first time. I chose to be room mates with them (although I didn't know them) because I honestly and truly didn't want to make friends with a new set of room mates. I wanted to be able to leave freely in December and go to London without having any pull or desire to stay at Grand Valley.
Before I even lived with them, I was planning on not being friends with them.
How awful am I?  

And here I sit, thinking about killing flies with them. Friendship with those three kittens came so easily and naturally. Four little kittens, who literally didn't have much in common (except for a common love of Beyonce), made that little apartment home...and enjoyed every second of living there.
One of my favorite films to watch is Eat, Pray, Love. Blaire and I watched it the other day. Afterwards, we marveled at that fact that every time we watch it we take something new away from it.

There is a part in the film when Liz explains that it is ok to love and miss someone. Send them love (either mentally or physically) whenever you think of them...and then dismiss it and continue on with your life.
This is something I'm learning. Whether it's missing Katie, Michelle and Gab or if it's missing my beautiful family or if it's missing someone that I once cared for so deeply. 

It is okay to miss someone that you love...as long as it is not consuming you to the point of disabing you from finding joy in your current situation. 
And so, today, I send love to Katie, Michelle and Gab. The three beautiful kittens that loved me and showed me such kindness and friendship. May our friendship continue on, in a new form when I return home. 

I wouldn't change a single thing about living with those girls. 

Not a thing.